still life...

“Don’t let go!”

I held his hand tighter when I heard him. His voice was rather distant. I guess it’s because I am slowly falling into a blissful trance that made me feel so far away from the world.

My eyes are closed. I can barely hear anything, just my laughter and sudden screams. Again, I tightened my grip to his hand so that I won’t slip away. And there’s a force, a force that’s pulling me backwards, a force that I know I have to fight.

We are spinning, facing each other and holding each other’s hand. And that seems to be the best memory I have of him. I tried to hear him one more time, but he seems to be farther away from me. And though I know I am holding his hands, I can’t feel his closeness. His presence is nonexistent.

We are spinning faster as time passes by. And after a few moments, we we’re like the wind – weightless, happy and free. It feels great!

But then I opened my eyes. I first saw the sky going around and around and around as if there’s never going to be tomorrow. I smiled, seeing the beauty of it. And then I looked at him. But the moment I caught his eyes, I suddenly felt everything- every single thing there is to feel. I fixed my eyes on him, and it was heavy, too heavy to carry. I slowed down my pace for I feel something weighing me down. Then all of the sudden, without even thinking about it, I let go.

It ended. I know I have fallen onto the ground. I never moved, for I know that I’ll soon enter the painful reality. I feel my tears slowly crawling on my cheeks. I opened my mouth to scream, but only a sudden whisper came out- a painful whisper…

“He’s gone…”

The fire fades away

Most of everyday

Is full of tired excuses

But it's to hard to say

I wish it were simple

But we give up easily

You're close enough to see that

You're the other side of the world to me ...