First day of class...

“Is there a liability in such case, Mr. Laririt?”

“Damn” I muttered to myself.

Of all the students in my class why do I have to be the first one to be called and answer my professor’s surprise recitation in our first official class?

Crap! I stood there, literally shaking, trying to remember all the things that I have read in my book to be able to create the perfect reason or argument for my answer. All eyes are on me, I can feel it, and most of it are expressing the anticipation of what fate will I have, the moment I answer our professor.

Though I’ve been only standing for about a minute and a half, it feels like it’s been ages. Plus, watching my professor walking around our classroom waiting for me to answer his goddamn question is like living in hell and having no certainty of when it will end.

It took me another half minute to find my voice and answer. Though I know I have said it completely and with substance, I only heard myself uttering the words “if ever, whatever, and possession”.

Then my professor walk towards me and said, “Good enough.”

-And that’s the highlight of my day… a complete system of struggle for survival on my first day… (I almost had a nervous breakdown!)

Life of a haggard...

“Were you able to do out assignment in inventories?” asked my classmate the moment I entered our classroom.

All I did was sit beside her, look at the board and try to recall what the heck inventories had to do with my life?

“Were you able to answer our assignment in accounting?” she asked again, almost screaming at me

Then it hit me, I have lost everything I have tried to fit in my brain last night. I then took out two pages of battered yellow pad and handed it to her. Out of the almost 20 questions I was able to answer about 7 items only.

It had been a very very jittery morning for me- a very tiring one, rather. After realizing that I only have about a week to study for our midterm departmental exams the night before, all I was able to do was, try to fit everything in my not so full schedule and continuously thinking of things and ways on how I am going to survive this very very hard part of my semi-charmed college life. Good thing I am already used in being awake all night to study until around 5am and then asleep at 1pm ‘til around 6 in the evening (this is very helpful to me since it is easier to concentrate at night).

Well, a while ago, our professor (I will soon write a book about him, together with a compilation of his quotations..wahahaha) wrapped up our lessons for the first half of this semester. I can’t explain the joy I am feeling to know that all I have to worry about are seven chapters in our very thick book. Plus it is a huge relief to know that there’s nothing to study in advance for a moment and all the efforts are to be exerted for reviews.

Waah! I do hope everything falls into its proper place. I can’t imagine how I will look after this adventure, but I know haggardness will surely be in for me. Waah! Hopefully I will look normal in my friend’s debut since it is in between my departmental exams and non-departmental exams…

my highlights for today..

1. bought brain foods (peanut butter; can't eat peanut alone) and fresh milk
2. stalked a former friend (hehehe...curious of how she's doing)
3. dreamt owning a CAR!
4. almost got run over by a taxi (it always happen! this is my nth life!)

Some Friday the 13th

Right now, I would like to plug in our old betamax player and find some old scary movie to frighten myself out of this boredom that my parents had given me. But instead of wetting my pants out of fear, I am sitting in our living room, listening to some loud music, eating adobong pork and letting myself be killed by the boredom of being alone in the house. (I SHOULD BE WATCHING TRANSFORMERS!! )

waaah so cool! I love the morbidity of Jason!

My favorite horror movie! The only one that made me shreik!

What else can I do but to accept this fate of mine and just sleep my way through the day? But I think it’s okay, I mean, I’ve seen enough action for this day. Thanks to my classmate who thought of fighting on some, thought to be, auspicious day would be cool. It’s amazing to watch them make things fly in the air and shouting curses as if it’s the spell that can make things fly(maybe they’ve already watched Harry Potter and they just can’t get over it)! But I pity one of my classmates who got hit by the thick book of Financial Accounting on the head. I could swear she wants to scream Avada Kedavra (is the spelling right? I kinda forgot) while pointing her pen to the girl who threw it to her. I can’t really recall how it all started and how it also ended. I think they gave everyone some memory loss spell, because all I can remember is we had a surprise quiz in math because of the commotion they made. waaah! Happy Friday the 13th!ü

Learning to juggle... (some library thoughts)

I sit here in the middle of the silent room trying to understand the definition of responsibility and prioritizing. Because, right now, no matter how much I try to get things done and understand all those weirdness in my course all that I was able to do is stare at the blank space of this large air-conditioned room. Waaah! How can I concentrate, when my stomach keeps on shouting to my brain to get the food in my bag and eat it(RAWR), then add up my unusually heavy eyelids that keeps on falling.

If I can describe my whole situation right now, I am an amateur juggler struggling his way on his first exhibition, complaining inside how hard it is but can’t drop anything ‘cause everything he puts in the air is everything he is, and with just one drop from one of those things his everything will fall apart. How I wish this staged program will be over, or much better it won’t and I will just get the hang of it and continue performing without any hesitation.

All I can think of or all I can dream of, right now, is my ultimate-vacation-dream-thing and that is a road trip somewhere very far, far away from here, where I can spread my arms and fell the gushing of the wind on me. But, unfortunately, when I open my eyes, it all ends. And I am back in my plain school library where all I can do is watch two lesbians getting it on, some freshmen breaking the silence of the room from time to time, and some utterly tired students sleeping and drooling (maybe and hopefully ;) ) on their financial accounting books. Okay, right now, I have made a decision to go home and continue my sleep-walking-studying past time there.

Random thoughts:
Need a new planner!
Gotta cancel my reservation in Greenbelt for HP! *teary eyes*
How much is a brand new phone nowadays?
I want krispy kremes!

Eskimo – Damien Rice
Tiredness fuels empty thoughts
I find myself disposed
Brightness fills empty space
In search of inspiration
Harder now with higher speed
Washing in on top of me so

catharsiS...

ca
catharsis. by =DRGPhotography on deviantART

catharsis - emotional release: an experience or feeling of spiritual release and purification brought about by an intense emotional experience .... (that's what you get when you study accounting for 3 hours straight)-3 hours palang yun ah! what more pa pag departmental na! baka schizophrenia na!

If you had said it long before
Will I learn the meaning of sacrifice?
For I have know about it long ago
You will never hear my silent cry-

If I’d never sing you my symphony
You will never praise another’s sun
And find no joy with other’s rhapsody

If I learnt to love you long ago
Won’t you do the same-or not
‘Cause when you didn’t ask
It’s when you let it all pass;
We did not see and speak and know...

bewildered...

I guess, out of the insanity that this week has brought me, I have decided on a lot of things in life, but the problem is I really don’t know what I have decided on(weird). I think I have dropped some ¼ of my measly mind as I walk around the grounds of our school finding the perfect thing that will bring me serenity a while ago. There is just so much to think about (HARRY POTTER), so much to worry on(HARRY POTTER), and so much to be obsessed at(ACCOUNTING) and yet I found myself typing, again, some clutters of my mind.
I have never thought that this week will, at least, stand out from all those any-ordinary-boring-week-things. It has been very, well, crazy.
Last Wednesday we had this medical check up wherein we’re going to take off our clothes so that the doctors can have the moments of their lives looking at something beyond what others can’t. It was, rather, amazing how the doctor told me, and I quote "hubad!" without even flinching. And all that I was able to say is "seriously?" but of course there are other things that I want to tell that doctor such as: "I can’t, I mean, you’re a lady! Plus I am a kid! By the way, have you seen such things? I don’t want you to be all surprised!" or "I am sorry, lady, but not all the best things are free." Or "What? No dates, or whatever is before this?" well even though I wasn’t able to tell it to the doctor I came out victorious! Because, I am exempted from the swimming!! Wohoo!
There are other stuffs that caused so much bewilderment in my week. My dreams, the impulsive decision to watch HARRY POTTER at Greenbelt 3 (made reservations!) and being scolded by my accounting professor for reasons unknown (just in the wrong place at the wrong time). Waaah! Then add up those creepy anonymous texters, most of whom, wants to get laid(I don’t really know what gave them the idea that I want to do it). Well, I am really not in the mood of blogging right now, so I guess this is all the best that I can do for know…hopefully I will be sober in the near future…I WANT TO WATCH TRANSFORMERS!!!

my fanciful week...

The insanity called school has started! Though the insanity itself had struck me last Sunday when I gave my phone to my sister for her to use! I swear I took a shot of brandy after I did that because I don’t know what has gotten into me! Well, it doesn’t really matter anymore, because now, though it is just my first week in school I am already thriving in an avalanche of pressures and stress (especially accounting!). How I wish it’s summer again, I miss my summer escapade- mates!

I am really really weirded out right now! It is because of my new block mates who are apparently having an identity crisis because they keep on taking my place in the sacred “classroom seating arrangement!” (ASSHOLES!). But that’s not all; the commuting is really driving me crazy! Heck! From the waiting-for-the-jeep-stage to the whole travel is like some kind of something gone wild! Students are running around like crazy trying to get whatever space the jeep has to offer (except me, I would like to keep whatever dignity that is left in me), then whenever I got a ride my freaking jeep-mates are all so freaky! Especially those who thought of themselves as hot and would confidently wear “sandos” but failed to make themselves clean making them sticky and would not care if they had any physical contacts with some other person. How I wish I have my own car. But unfortunately I have to accept the reality that I can’t own one and that I am very vulnerable to those girls who are flashing their upper part of the body (it happened to me a while ago while I was walking to school from Katipunan).

School is not really the highlight of my week though. What really made impact this week is when my sister left for Dubai last Thursday. It’s not that dramatic though because of the “NAGMAMAHAL KAPAMILYA” bloopers that my sister and I did in the departure area. Haay…how I wonder what will happen next in my life. Hopefully everything will be more fun and less boobs.