of being stuck and thinking of ways of getting unstuck

(wow, please bear with me..my mind is kinda dead so I can't think of any title for this post that is not lame..ü)

So here’s the thing, you’d wake up 5:30ish in the morning just to lie awake and think over what has been happening in you bloody life for the past few weeks-months even, when you realized that you don’t know where you’re going from where you are right now (This sentence feels like it’s not making any sense, I hope it does).

I mean, seriously, after almost four years of striving over this freakishly hard thing that I, unintentionally, placed myself into. It was only just a few days ago when I realized that I might have made a mistake or something or some sort or whatever. Because right now, I really do want to find an escape route away from everything, but unfortunately the only escape route that I can see may lead me to ruins, in short, it’s utterly stupid. So right now, I feel stuck in a certain timeframe and no matter how much I try to keep the time going or passing or whatever, it won’t budge. And so it’s hard, so hard, that sometimes I think that I’m maybe making a fool of myself from all of these. It’s just so complex right now that I just want to stop for a whole day and breathe, just breathe, be numb and completely be taken away from the thoughts of this preposterous insanity. But unfortunately I just can’t find any reason to do so, so here I am moving, thinking, and trying to unstuck myself from this stupid thing.

So, in the end, after thinking all about these stuff (well in my case, taking all these screaming words out of my mind) you’d realize that you’d it’s just a complete waste of effort and time (and rest).