oblivious..

So what now? I am here, fronting the computer, looking for the right drive to make my freaking brain work properly again. I don’t know, maybe it’s because of the aftermath of an epiphany that I can’t last long in an ultra crowded place with weird lights, loud music and a makeshift nebulizer without struggling to keep myself sane. So here I am typing what is supposed to be a synopsis of one of my favorite literary pieces but unable to find the right words and style to make it acceptable.

Hmmm…so whatever is happening to my life right now is pretty much in the boring side. No freakishly embarrassing moments or weird made up scenes in the mall or something. Mostly everything that has been happening to me is because of such case called oblivion. Yeah, I am utterly, irrevocably oblivious of my surroundings. How was I able to say that? Well, tell me, have you ever seen a person who without any valid reason at all, tripped while standing still on an escalator? I don’t know, I think my brain is having this momentary interval when it just dies down on me. Crazy it may seem I just think it can happen.

Well, another thing that has been in my mind for a very long time is Grey’s Anatomy. I so badly miss the bloody series! And seriously, I hate the writers for making it so great to the point that they made the season finale so hard to get over with. I think they should put in mind that some are going gaga over it!!

Okay so much for all of these mumbles. I need to make my life happen!! In much painful terms, I need to pass my failing subjects, finish my half done project, prepare for a hell of a work from my uncle, and try not to lose my self control when I see pastas.

of being stuck and thinking of ways of getting unstuck

(wow, please bear with me..my mind is kinda dead so I can't think of any title for this post that is not lame..ü)

So here’s the thing, you’d wake up 5:30ish in the morning just to lie awake and think over what has been happening in you bloody life for the past few weeks-months even, when you realized that you don’t know where you’re going from where you are right now (This sentence feels like it’s not making any sense, I hope it does).

I mean, seriously, after almost four years of striving over this freakishly hard thing that I, unintentionally, placed myself into. It was only just a few days ago when I realized that I might have made a mistake or something or some sort or whatever. Because right now, I really do want to find an escape route away from everything, but unfortunately the only escape route that I can see may lead me to ruins, in short, it’s utterly stupid. So right now, I feel stuck in a certain timeframe and no matter how much I try to keep the time going or passing or whatever, it won’t budge. And so it’s hard, so hard, that sometimes I think that I’m maybe making a fool of myself from all of these. It’s just so complex right now that I just want to stop for a whole day and breathe, just breathe, be numb and completely be taken away from the thoughts of this preposterous insanity. But unfortunately I just can’t find any reason to do so, so here I am moving, thinking, and trying to unstuck myself from this stupid thing.

So, in the end, after thinking all about these stuff (well in my case, taking all these screaming words out of my mind) you’d realize that you’d it’s just a complete waste of effort and time (and rest).